Reflection #53 – June 22

Ah I once again stand right before the end of the semester; exams and deadlines are creeping over while simultaneously maintaining private projects and having some time for leisure and relaxation.

Looking back 6 months, it was way more stressful. But right now it’s pretty alright, though I should be learning more. Exams aren’t as terrifying and projects are doing fine progress. The biggest difference is that I barely have anything to do at home, so it’s easy for me to separate uni stuff and the privates. Luckily without a lockdown currently going on, though things are looking like that might not continue much longer.

Now it sounds like a stupid idea that I went on a concert, but the mindset back then – with the lifted restrictions – invited for a naive way of thinking that would strain the risks until it would snap. And snap it did, as I caught the big C on that weekend. Luckily none of my family members I was with at the time got it, miraculously even, and while the actual symptoms weren’t the big issue, self-quarantining was. I lost a whole week, I should’ve been with the film crew assisting with our project and working on some other school stuff as well. I couldn’t take part in some local activities and I shied away from even stepping out of my domicile (though with the highest temperatures in 2 years that week, I wouldn’t have been so eager to anyway). At the very least I had a few days for myself and for my private projects… hmm let this be a transition to talk about those next actually:

First off was a small commission I got at the end of last month that I happily accepted. The thing with commissions is that I rarely know how to use the time I have for those, most customers want very intricate and therefore expensive pieces that take a long while to discuss, plan and execute, and with my current schedule, I simply can’t afford to spend whole months on a single piece with barely any deviation from it. A sketch portrait was what I could accept and it helped greatly that the figure was very appealing and fitting to my style, also a good way to keep developing those rough /paintings/. It came in handy that CSP reminded me to spend their weird currency that I got from partaking in a questionnaire so I picked up a lot from their store, including some nice textured brushes that would fit nicely in scratching up this piece. While I really like those, the figure would be too soft outside of the focal point, which is a bit distracting to me and I gotta be mindful of that in the future. I’ll be looking for more opportunities to use this drawing style as I still see some potential here apart from simple concept sketches.

Of course someday I had to finish this boulder of a project. I can’t remember if I ever needed this long for a written part of a story. Back when I was writing on my novel-sized fantasy world, I was putting out this much in about a 6th of the time. Still, I can’t say I have put this much thought into something written either. The scenes, plot and character arcs are thoroughly constructed and to keep everything together has been quite the challenge. After all, it does feel redeeming to be able to read through it all, the conflicts in this feel genuine and the emotions convinced do have an impact on me. There still definitely is room for improvement; as rusty as I am from years of neglect to storywriting and with the additional pressure of knowing how a story is constructed and what make a good character development. Most of these things, I just winged before, without much thought behind it – merely doing what felt natural. And while this worked out in some occasions, I can’t leave it up for chance. I know I have a sense for good writing in me and I can’t let it slip. It still very much is a passion of mine but in order to bring it to the next level, there’s a lot to be done. Luckily I have the tendency to never really end a story, so even with this dark outcome in ‘Starting Over’ – there is more to be written of it…

I want to close this off with the two concept art-pieces I finished in the last half of the month. Zalumnee has always been a character with a lot of potential, she encapsulates my affinity towards the dark and wicked and gives me the opportunity to explore parts of myself that I haven’t really thought about before. A lot that let towards the decision to flesh her and her life out is owed to the projects of my university and the unique style of the band ‘Man Man’ which gave me the motivation and emotion to pull through with the initial ideas that let to even more refined concepts. And I think I have found the beats of what will construct her story; it will thematize the unusual tastes that make us unique and challenge the protagonist with the troubles of her passion and the ones who have power over her life.

The final push to really devote myself to this was the animated series “Owl House” that delivered on this feeling of yearning for a world different than our own. While playing so much to my likings, deviating from this wonderful show might be a challenge of my own as doing something similar has never been on my list of intentions when creating art but sometimes snug in unintentionally to my influences…

Alright; next month will be a biggie. As I said before, exams and projects are coming up at the final stretch of the next semester and of course there’s Art Fight again, finally! I went ahead and saved me 16 characters to do. I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY I’LL BE ABLE TO HANDLE But I’ll try my best. I wish you all a wonderful next month! Stay safe and healthy!

~Souvillaine