Hey guys…
Normally you don’t get to know about any of the decisions I take in my life, after all this is just an art platform, right?
The point is, now you will.
I’ll make it short because I don’t know how to put it otherwise; I will draw distance between me, my art development and deviantart.
I have thought about it many times before but recently I just had to realize that going on with the ‘it’s gonna be better, alright‘ attitude had led me into a tunnel of this neverending farce.
Now to make it clear; I owe this decision to no one except me. It’s not because of any of you, it sure as hell is not because some current phase and definitely not because I haven’t received any more watchers than anyone. I hammered this nail in my brain; it’s not about some fucking reputation!
I figured, all the time I was doing art, it’s for one purpose only; to post it here, and I believe the way it is has to stop. And I’m stopping to focus on my improvement.
All my previous artworks have been made with the insulting pressure to my nerves, that I have to finish them. I was wasting a ridiculous amount of time in squeezing in details into my pictures that – after I uploaded them – no one, not even me noticed. I need to take my practise seriously, start on getting decent studies done, anatomy – attempted to start it years ago; never dug deeper into the surface as soon as I was doing something for my profile again, no…
I know I will leave people questioning, I know not all of those I found over the past two years and care about will read this journal. I kinda wanted to send all of them a note or a comment or shit like that but… somehow I can’t. I don’t even want to talk to anyone right now, so probably won’t answer to any comment in my absence. I don’t even know if I have the guts to read them if some will be posted down here… I’m in such a strange mood right now, the thought to throw all this over my shoulder and leave it behind, but no, I know that’s not what I want.
So I pretty much don’t know for how long this state will last… I could be back next week, next month? Maybe I will never post any more artworks here…
All this is so uncertain, but that’s just another reason why I need a break.
I plan on informing you about the future. Maybe I will continue writing these journals monthly (though I don’t know what they could contain), otherwise I will upload a journal near Christmas time with the information whether I will stay on DA or not…
That’s up to future events and how things will turn out until then…
That’s it for now,
See you again, eventually.